Deserved
by wolf-grl2008
Summary: Jasper slips up and Alice comforts him and show him how much you loves him. Alice/Jasper Wow I suck at summeries lol


**Another Jasper/Alice fic. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. All of it goes to SM.**

Oh God. He had slipped up again. He had killed two people this time. Children. He was going to be in so much pain. He was going to get depressed again and pull away from me. No, no, no, NO!

I sped up, pushing my legs to go as fast as I could. I was only half seeing my surroundings as I followed Jasper, and half watching the vision of Jasper in the woods. He was going to stop soon, as he growled and threw a large rock into the woods. It hit a tree snapping it in half with a loud CRACK. He fell to his knees, crying out and putting his head into his hands. My heart ached at the sight of him. My vision cleared, as I heard him cry out in the present. I burst into the clearing a few moments later to see him on his knees, angry growls ripping from his chest. How could I let this happen? I should have stopped him, seen it coming. My poor Jasper was suffering because of me. Because I didn't see this happening.

"Why don't you just say it? Just say how disappointed you are." He hissed, his whole body shaking. "I can feel it on you Alice."

"No, Jasper I'm not-" I whispered, taking a step forward. Jasper could feel the emotions, but not the reasons why.

"JUST SAY IT!" He roared, his shoulders shaking.

"I'm disappointed." I said, kneeling over behind him and wrapping my arms around him from behind. I hugged him, despite the fact that he stiffened. I could smell the blood on his shirt, smeared across his face, and dried throughout his hair. My throat burned wildly, but I ignored it. I focused on my sweet suffering Jazzy. His own pain radiated off of him, causing my heart to sink further and further in my chest. I contained the scream that was boiling up from all his pain and self hatred. "Jasper I'm not disappointed in you though. I'm disappointed in me. I let you down. I should have seen this coming, I should have to stopped-"

"You shouldn't have to stop me!" He growled, jerking away from me and zooming away. He stood several feet away, staring at me with wide red eyes. He gave a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping and his head falling. "I'm a monster. I'm so _weak." _

"No, Jazzy, no." I begged standing. I extended my hands to him, hoping he would come forward and let me hold him, but he shook his head. I remembered the first time I had seen him break down. It wasn't this bad, but it still broke my heart...

_"I'm supposed to be getting better.... I'm supposed to be able to control it." Jasper growled, his hands digging into the sheets of the bed he was sitting in. I stared at him sadly, moving forward and taking his face in my hands. _

_"Jasper, you didn't do anything. You walked away. You were amazing." I assured him, kissing his lips gently. He stared up at me, his golden eyes filled with pain. "Don't love, don't broad of this. I get tempted too, your not alone in this." I whispered, running my fingers through his hair. _

_"You love a monster. I don't deserve to live." He hissed. I growled at him, my hands clamping in his hair and pulling slightly. He growled in pain, looking up at me in shock. _

_"Don't _ever _say that again Jasper Whitlock. You are the most beautiful, kindest, loyal, loving person I have ever met. You're all I have." I whispered, kissing his face. I kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, his lips. I showed him I loved him, physically and emotionally. _

_"You don't understand." He sighed, his voice breaking. I looked at him gently, watching as his lip quivered. "I don't deserve you." He cried, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my chest. I held him as he shook with dry sobs, comforting him and telling him over and over again that he was loved, and that he had me. _

"Not this time Alice, I don't deserve-"

"Stop NOW!" I yelled, glaring at him. He looked up surprised. I came to his side, grabbing his hair and jerking him down in front of me. "Stop this. We all slip up, we all have killed someone." He flinched at the word kill, his pain shooting through me. I bit back a gasp and continued. "I have killed, I killed those hunters 37 years ago. Emmett has killed- that women drying sheets, that girl walking home. Esme has killed, Carlisle, Edward. We all have. But you know what makes us different- makes you different?" I pulled my hand away from his hair, laying it over his silent heart. "The fact that you _care. _The fact that you _hurt_ because of killing those kids. You're no monster Jasper." I whispered standing up no tip toes and kissing him. He melted into my kiss, his arms wrapping around me. "You're so beautiful, inside and out."

He gave a sarcastic laugh at that, burying his face in my hair and breathing in deeply. "I love you my Alice." He whispered, holding me so close it almost hurt. But I didn't mind, he was letting me comfort him. He was going to be okay.

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**Jasper POV**

We made our way home slowly, walking for most of it at human speed, just holding hands and taking in each others presence. Alice held onto my hand like a lifeline, guiding me like she had all these years. I just stared down at her beautiful perfect features in wonder. How had I come to deserve someone like this? Someone so perfect and loving?

I had killed hundreds upon thousands, human and vampire alike. I had ripped vampires apart without blinking. I was the worst sort of monster imaginable. And yet Alice still loved me. I still remembered the day I had told her of my life before breaking away from Maria...

_"I left Peter and Charlotte after a while and started traveling alone." I finished, staring out the window. I wasn't able to look at her. I didn't want to see the horror on her face. I could feel it rolling off of her, overwhelming me. _

_"I saw you leave them," she stated. "You always looked so pained, it broke my heart." She whispered, her feelings seconding her statement. Pain and sadness flooded from her, intertwining with the horror. "I got glimpses of your life before in conversations you had with Peter and Charlotte, but I never really understood." She shook her head, her black hair moving back and forth. "God Jasper..." she moved forward, her tiny feet padding on the wood floor. Her small hands came up and took my face in her hands gently. "You didn't deserve to go through that hell." She whispered. "I wish I had found you sooner." She sighed, her soft thumb moving back and forth against my cheek. _

_"I would have walked away from Maria the minute I saw you. You're the only thing that has ever given me such hope, such love." I smiled, staring up at the wonder that was Alice. She had found me, and from the minute I took her hand I was hers. _

I stared down at our hands now, smiling slightly. After all these years she still loved me. I marveled everyday at that.

"Oh, Jasper!" Esme's cry made me flinch as I felt the worry, panic, and a sudden burst of relief come off of her. She rushed forward, wrapping her arms around me immediately. I buried my face in her hair, savoring the scent that was my mom.

"I'm sorry mother. Please forgive me." I whispered, holding her. She squeezed my waist, leaning back and patting my cheek lovingly.

"Jasper, there's nothing to forgive." She assured me. There was slight worry underneath the love and relief poring off of her. She wasn't angry, or disappointed, just worried. "We all slip up. You've been so strong." She smiled, rubbing my arm gently. I smiled at her gently. She always had pride for me, and had always assured me she loved me no matter what. My mother Esme, she was the best there was. My human mother didn't even compare to her.

"We're just glad you're home son." Carlisle said, his hand coming down on my shoulder. He squeezed it, giving me a small smile. I warmed at the son, as I always did. Carlisle was like a god to me, I always marveled at his strength and kindness. From the day he had taken me and Alice in, to now as he gave me a wave of love I always respected and looked up to him. He was my father, always.

"Come in and get cleaned up." Esme smiled, squeezing the hand that Alice didn't have.

I bowed my head to both of them. "Thank you mom, dad." Esme smiled, and Carlisle gave a gentle nod.

"Always Jasper." Esme whispered, taking my face in her hands. "We love you so much."

I took in a deep breath, almost feeling like I was going to cry. After all I had done, all the sins I had committed, Esme and Carlisle still loved me. I was forever grateful. I took a deep breath, looking down toward my Alice and then back at them. My voice caught in my throat, so I just sent a wave of love to all three of them. Esme sighed, nodding. She always understood. Alice leaned into me, smiling.

She pulled me forward into the house, and up the stairs to the bathroom. My siblings were away in the living room and they didn't come yet. I knew when I was downstairs and around them they would show me the same compassion in each of their ways. With Emmett it would be jokes, with Rosalie it would be to leave it alone in all, with Edward it would be a sympathetic look, and with Bella...I wasn't sure yet. She had never seen me like this, and I was sure she would have confusion and sympathy.

Alice tugged me into the bathroom, and silently began undressing me. First my shoes and sockes, then my shirt, and as she removed it she placed a kiss over my heart, lust filling her tiny body. Then my pants and boxers. I just stood in front of her naked and bare. All my scars were out in the open for her to see. She ran her hands over a couple of them, kissing them gently. "I love you Major." She smiled looking up at me. I smiled back, closing my eyes as the love and lust rolled off her.

"Are you not coming in with me?" I asked, running my hands down her back. She shivered and gave a gentle nod.

"I go where you go." She assured me, staring up at me with her golden eyes. Just like that fateful day in the dinner it was red eyes staring into golden eyes. She let me remove her clothes, and she went into the shower with me. She washed the blood from my hair and my face gently, washing me clean of my sins.

She was my savior, always washing away my sins.

She was my Alice.

**There you go, hope you enjoyed and please Review! Thanks. **

**Peace loves!**


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